Recently the Washington Post listed their winners for Alternate Meanings of Words
Let’s take a look at some common words and find their alternate meanings……..
Coffee, noun. The Person upon whom one coughs
Flabbergasted, adjective. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
abdicate, verb. To give up all hope of EVER having a flat stomach.
Esplanade, verb. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
Willy-nilly, adjective. Impotent
Negligent, adjective. Absent-mindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
Control, noun. A short, ugly inmate
Lymph, verb. To walk with a lisp
Gargoyle, noun. Olive-flavored mouth wash.
Flatulence, noun. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
Balderdash, noun. A rapidly receding hairline.
Testicle, noun. A humorous question on an exam.
Rectitude, noun. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
Pokemon, noun . A Rastafarian proctologist
Oyster, noun. A person who sprinkles their conversation with Yiddishisms.
Frisbeetarianism, noun. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.
Circumvent, noun. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
Arbitrator, noun. A cook that leaves Arby’s to work at McDonalds
Avoidable, adjective. What a bull fighter tries to do
Bernadette, verb. The act of torching a mortgage
Burglarize, noun. What a crook sees with
Eyedropper, noun. A clumsy Ophthalmologist
Paradox, noun. Two physicians
Pharmacist, noun. A helper on a farm
Selfish, verb. What the owner of a seafood store does
Sudafed, verb. Brought litigation against a government official
Polarize, noun. What penguins see with
Parasites, noun. What you see from the top of the Eiffel Tower
Now I can’t wait to see what giggle fits you will send me into! Or guffaw fits if it is really good. Keep on keepin’ on, Tin Man. MER
Thank you my sweet Wired Witch of the East. I miss you so!
Your imagination on the posts that you share with us grows more amazing everytime! Thanks!
Funny!! Funny!! My favorites? Hands-down, it’s Selfish! Polarize! And Parasites. I also dig Pharmacist. Brilliant! Thanks for the win-grin!! T. (I’m still smiling.)
Oh my lovely Theadora, thank you so much for stopping by. So glad we made you smile.
These are wickedly funny! I love them – thanks for sharing!
So happy you like them. Hope your woodpeckers come back soon. Ours are still pecking about here.
I love yr article
Thank you my darling.
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These are, without a doubt, the FUNNIEST, most bodacious daffynitions I’ve ever seen!
Thank you my dear! I am so glad you enjoyed them!
A huge group giggle. Non-stop irreverence. Delicious and outrageous. How can I leave this blog? Virginia